Sooooo you're all going to pee your pants when you read this I think. So take a break and go to the bathroom and then come back and read it because you're going to die laughing/crying.
So it was a long week! Tuesday was really just a normal day, other than the zone conference we had. It was really cool, the area president (Elder Gonzalez) came and talked to us and we had 3 zones together at the same time for the conference. So I got to see some mission buddies! After the conference nothing really happened, we found a couple new investigators and taught a couple lessons. That was really it. Lots of our plans fell through so we just ended up contacting and trying to visit less actives.
Wednesday is when things got crazy. We had been working a couple days in an area called Rio Piedras which is like a little town outside of the normal city of San Juan. We've gone out there a few times to work and it's always been a pain because we have to take the bus and it's really unpredictable and stuff. But that's not it. We were out working and all was cool. We went to visit a contact we had made the week before, and out comes some 65 year old guy that we hadn't seen before. So we ask him "hey is Tatia here?" AND BOOM the dude just started going off on us for 15 minutes about how he founded a church 40 years ago and he baptized Tatia in his church and she doesn't want anything to do with other religions and then started to quote bible verses. It was really funny because all the verses he quoted were like against him. He says "it's not my words that will save me!" but yet he's there yelling and two young men about how he already knows everything there is to know about the gospel. So me and Elder Colon just stood there on the sidewalk staring at him. The dude literally looked nuts! He was like drooling because he didn't ever stop talking! We just stared at him and never even got a word in.
Wednesday part 2: We were contacting in that same area and we were talking to a lady and then out of the blue comes a crazy lady! BUT LITERALLY CRAZY I kid you not. She had a guitar resting on one shoulder and a tree branch in the other hand, and her head wrapped in some weird scarf. We could hear her from down the street yelling at people. So then she gets to where Elder Colon and I are talking to the lady and the comes up like right between us and starts yelling stuff about Columbians and blue eyes and police and Obama and her mom and more Columbians and all kinds of weird stuff, honestly it was one of the weirdest things I've ever heard in Spanish. But yelling and I mean yelling at the top of her lungs. And the lady we were talking to just stood there in the doorway of her house like what the heck is going on here. So Elder Colon got smart and took a few steps away from the lady but I just stood there and we all just listened to her rant. Then out of nowhere she takes the stick/tree branch that she had in her hand and WHACKED ME ACROSS THE CHEST. And obviously me being superman, the stick broke into 3 pieces! (I kid you not). But then it gets even better! Seconds later, she spit in my face! It looked like the lady had rabies or something, hahahahaha and the lady in her doorway just took a few steps back and said "yeah I'm going to leave now". IT WAS NUTS. I've never felt so weird in my life. I had no idea what to do. So we start walking away and the lady continues down the street yelling at people and we turn around to see her yelling at an old lady and then the old lady pulls out a broom and starts to wail on the crazy lady! Then her whole family came running out of the house and there were 5 people whacking the crazy lady with brooms!
So we continue down the street and we found a police officer and we were like, hey dude there's some old ladies wailing on some crazy chick down the street. And the freaking police officer just says "yeah she's normal around here, she gets arrested but the government doesn't have money to keep her locked up" hahahahaha.
Wednesday part 3: We went to visit another contact we had made. A family of like 6. We get there and the pregnant mom was out on the porch with some friends and the first things she says is "be careful! My friend wants to violate you guys!" And like of everything that had happened this day, that was not one of the things I was expecting. So we kept walking.
Wednesday part 4: 7pm waiting for the bus- a Chinese guy walks by wearing plastic garbage bags (I would assume to be able to sweat more) and Elder Colon begins to contact him. The dude said that he doesn't think Christ will come again because it's been 2000 years of people saying that he'll come and he hasn't come. Like dude tranquilo have some faith. Read the Bible. Pray. We walked with him like half a mile to be able to talk with him because the dude wouldn't stop to talk to us!
Thursday was normal, nobody invited us to eat on Thanksgiving so we contacted hopelessly the whole day. Then some old lady in the street invited us to eat with her and her family.
Friday I was on an exchange with Elder Eguino who's new here in PR. We had a killer day and made some solid contacts. Super cool dude from Bolivia.
Saturday we went and committed people to church and went to some follow up appointments which all turned out pretty cool!
Sunday we got 3 investigators in church which was really cool because they were 3 that we weren't expecting to show up.
Maria is awesome! She loves the church and I heard that yesterday she was interviewed for a calling in the Young Women's, so it's super cool to see her progression in the gospel!!
Really after being hit with a stick and spat on, it was one of the worst days of my life. We came home and we hadn't taught a single lesson, everything seemed to be going against us. But it was cool because all the guys in the house reminded me of the talk by Elder Holland about walking shoulder to shoulder with Jesus Christ and it really made me think that I really experienced a tiny part of what Christ went through. Even though what happened to me was super insignificant, it meant a lot to think that I was just that much closer to being like Christ and going through a little tiny bit of what He went through. He suffered for all of us and took on himself things like the crazy woman hitting me with a stick. The gospel is so true and even though things get hard, He's there for us and wants to help. I know it's true. I felt His love this week more than I really have in a while. I'm so thankful for the opportunity I have to be here on the mission, on His errand. I love this work.
Love you all!Elder Nelson
Elder Nelson and Maria